So you enjoy the feelings of cross dressing and think you might be a Trans? Or you know you are Trans?
What do I do? What will those around me think? How will they react?
I know I need to do something to find out more and perhaps even start hormones. Where do I start?
Hopefully some parts here will help you, be you FTM or MTF.
1. Ask yourself some questions if you haven’t already. Like is this merely a sexual thing? I like to dress in the opposite gender clothing and masturbate or I don’t masturbate but just feel comfortable and relaxed. If you have a partner/friend can you discuss with them? How will my family cope? Do I just enjoy CDing or do you feel this will go further? Is the timing right for family or work? Most post op that I know will tell you there is no choice and there comes a time when it just has to happen. Let’s try to make it all easier and work. How far do you think this will go? Is it permanent or a fad?
2. Research it all as much as possible – learn. Go look on the internet by goggling various words and reading. Look in a library. Find others with similar interests and ask questions. Don’t just get hung up on the sexual pleasures but seek and learn. Research the many websites or groups and find the ones that most suit you. There are several and all do good but all work in different ways. Some have phone line support while others have good resources. Others have chat rooms or forums to ask questions. All have good people. You are not alone. The Trans Community is big and is growing. There is a wealth of support and knowledge out there if you need it and look.
3. Visit you GP and talk openly with him. He/she is your friend. A lot may not know a lot about it, not be friendly towards your concerns, so take time to choose your GP. Gay or Gay friendly might mean he has a more open mind to it. Ask other Trans who they use and how they find them. Ask the GP his position on Trans. Does he have any Tran’s patients?
4. He may suggest you seek counselling. Again research the counsellor. Ask the GP why they refer you to a particular one or ask for a couple of names and then research them before you decide. I suggest you find one who is Gay or Gay friendly for they are likely to be more understanding. Choose one who will listen and guide rather then tell you what to do. Do they have Trans experience? Experience comes from having been Trans, are Trans, have Trans patients. Knowledge comes from reading what others say or have told them and may not be based from Tran’s experience.
5. “I know I need hormones.” THIS IS NOT A GAME! So be careful as you are entering a whole new world. Again discuss with your GP. He may refer you to a psychologist or similar. An Endocrinologist. Research hormones on the internet. Read and learn. Again there are several good groups and Tran’s people out there who have immense knowledge. But......
6. YOU MUST BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS SO BE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SEEK AND WHAT YOU WANT.
7. “I know I need hormones.” Ok. Then research them, which ones will you want? What effects will they have on you? Good and bad. How much to start on? When can you increase them and by how much? The GP or Endocrinologist will definitely tell you the risks and dangers but will he tell you the benefits? Are they a real risk to you? i.e. You need to know them. Look for trials good and bad, on MTF or FTM not just genetic male or female. If you are post op MTF then when they tell you of increase risks of cervical and ovarian cancers, laugh. You don’t have ovaries or a cervix.
8. Work with them. Don’t fight them but try to get them to understand. It’s not just about bodily changes but also your mental well being.
9. I need help with clothes, shopping, makeup, wigs, deportment, speech. Seek help from groups, friends, significant others. Research on the internet. Buy from op shops, the internet. Experiment and learn sizes and what hides things or accentuates the highlights.
10. How do I tell those around me? Not easily. Remember you have had time to come to understand yourself. Don’t smack them in the face with it. They need time to adjust. Talk to your Doctor, Counsellor or others on how to help them to understand. If you are a married genetic male and want to keep the woman you love then you will have to give her time. Have patience and answer questions openly and honestly. She married a man. That man now wants her to become a lesbian. Did she marry a man or a person? There is a lot there so seek guidance. Children will be losing their farther. Time & help.
11. There is no choice. I need to do this. I need to go 24/7. Will I lose my job? What will colleagues think and how will they react. Again seek advice from friends, groups, counsellors etc. Discuss in confidence and openly with the biggest boss you can find or Human resources. Suggest perhaps they need to get counsellors in to help other staff members adjust. Work with them but don’t be bullied. You need your job and income to achieve your goal to be who you are. They cannot discriminate so be aware of your Human Rights and if you have issues contact the Human Rights Commission.
12. This will just keep going on and on but you are now started. Remember. There is lots of advice, guidance, help and support out there. You are not alone and it is easier now then years ago.